Are you here? For the past week you have got me thinking so. I have had every early pregnancy symptom in the book.
Shortness of Breath
Smells are obnoxious
And my breasts are so, so sore (sorry, I know this will just gross you out one day)
I have already taken 2 pregnancy tests but far too early than your supposed to- that was your Dad’s doing. I got home from work the other day and he literally threw them at me. I tried to tell him that it would do no good but he insisted. Bless his heart.
He is truly hoping I am pregnant with you. He has been wishfully hoping all week while I’ve been complaining of nausea and how he all of a sudden smells different and weird to me.
I do not know what to think. I think that my birth control could be producing these symptoms but deep down, I am hoping too that it is you. I’ve tried to press down this hope because I know I will only be disappointed if I get another negative result.
Either way, you will make your claim in this world when the time is right. When your ready. When your needed. It will all unfold beautifully and mysteriously. I patiently await.
Now, Mommy has to go find some ginger ale to sooth my tummy.
Love you already and always,
Dear not-just-yet baby,
Right now mommy is snuggled up in her favorite robin egg blue throw, candles lit and her Civil War’s station playing on Pandora. Daddy is sitting at the table sketching lighting designs and asking my opinion. He works with a furrowed brow and a steady hand. He stops for a break with a pencil behind his ear. He doesn’t realize it, but he’s making me fall more and more in love with him. He goes back to the table, erases, wipes the dust away and sets his pencil back in mortion, co- creating with God and inspiring me all the while.
This is a typical night in the Hutson home. I wonder what you will bring here with you- some tears probably and hopefully giggles too. Joy will abound while our wallets become deeper black holes but we won’t care too much because your love will fill and spill out into all the empty crevices and holes around this house. We won’t care too much about the insomnia ridden bodies and minds, the lack of washed hair and abundance of sweat pants because we will have you. you sweet sweet baby you.
No sketches or designs on a notepad could draw you up or sum up this co creation. We can’t wait for you much longer but we know we have to. So, with furrowed brows, steadied hands we scribble love notes to you, about you. We proclaim your name in a dusty no. 2 markings hoping these paper rants will subdue our desire to put you into motion.
The not-just-yet Mommy.
Your daddy came up with another name option today- if you happen to a boy this name is the winner:
August Monroe Hutson.
Dashing, isn’t it?