Awaiting You.

Dear Blueberry,
This will be the last time I address my letters to you this way because tomorrow we will be able to call you by name! As I type this you are busy twirling away in my stomach and I cherish every movement I feel. Perhaps your as anxious as we are to make your big appearance on the big screen tomorrow. I’m so excited to find out if you are a boy or a girl but I think beyond that I’m thrilled to actually see you for the first time as this is my 1st and probably last ultrasound!

Emotionally and physically I’m exhausted. I’ve pushed myself too far and I knew this was coming. I’m trying to relish in the quiet at the end of the day to restore some peace of mind and soul. We had a LOT of people over for the Super Bowl (which I care nothing about by the way) and hosting parties are exhausting especially now that I’m carrying you. I put a lot of thought and detail when I plan and host parties because it is in my very nature but because I invest so much of my energy, I quickly deflate. We are hosting a gender reveal party tomorrow night and the masses will be rushing in through the front door of our tiny home to celebrate you. I am half way stoked and half way dreading hosting another party after being so run down. I’ve decided that I just want to soak up and enjoy it all so I’m going to let go (or desperately try) of the reigns and breathe in the celebration. This will be a true test of character.

Your Dad is over the moon excited for tomorrow. Even more so than I. I’m surprisingly calm at this very moment. He has the whole day planned and the first thing he wants to do is go shopping for your first outfit. We then plan on registering for your baby shower too. It will be a happy day.

I spent the best part of today crying for various reasons- some valid and some unknown. It’s as if my emotions have hijacked my entire being and I have no say so in anything. It’s extremely frustrating because the more I cried the more annoyed I got that I couldn’t stop crying so that would make me cry even more. It’s been a real unnecessary sob fest. You JUST made up or it because as I typed that last sentence I felt the first real big repetitive kicks and even saw one from the outside right near my belly button! Your Dad will be so sad he missed it. Save a few for him when he gets home won’t you?

Love you Blueberry!! Anxiously awaiting to know you a littler better tomorrow!

Love,
Mom

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